I guess it is not mine

Here in Brazil, there are things I cannot hold.  Time is a commodity that is elastic, ever-expanding and without limits. It is really hard to imagine something like this when we are outside Brazil. Even for us who lived in places supposedly "less hectic " or more "laid back" such as Africa. That, combined to a real love for useless administrative procedures and paperwork, you are well served.
What does it means in practical terms?

• It means that a person who tells you that he will come at your place (to fix something, to deliver something) might show up 3 hours late. Or 2 days later. Even 3 weeks later. Yes it happened to me. 
• It means that if you call to inquire about their delay, people tell you they are coming, and still never show up.
• It means that, at the grocery, in the Express line, you are bound to take longer than the other lines. I mean, other normal lines in other countries. If there would be such things as cashier speed competitions.
• It means that the cashier might stop in the middle of your transaction to discuss holidays or other important issues with her supervisor.
• It means that while you wait at the cashier of the hyper/super/normal market you can make friends with your fellow consumers waiting with you.
• It means that if you stand in line at the cashier, the person in front of you might as well go back to her car pick up her wallet she forgot while the cashier (and you) patiently keep waiting for her to return to complete the transaction.
• It means that the person in front of you in line might not become your friend after all.
• It means that if you go take an appointment to the dentist, and need to see the hygienist, the secretary will offer you two different times on two different days, with no understanding of what you are trying to ask for when you say you want to see them at the same time - meaning the same day.
• It means that if you ask your staff to do something, it might get done, but certainly not right away.
• It means that if you buy something and you need to return it, you might have to go through a loop of a few counters, papers and wait before being able to retrieve your money. If.
• It means that if buy things that need to be picked up in the store room, you are bound to wait for a few minutes. And that if the person at the counter is also the one fetching things for you, you are bound for an even longer wait.
• It means that when it is a national holiday it is a really bad occasion to do what all Brazilian are doing, whether it is going to the beach, take the plane or rent a car. The later two specially as they involve waiting in line.
• It means that if you go to a show, you might see it the next day. I swear, it happened to us last nigth! (see below).
• It means that if you imagine completing a number of errants in the morning, you are bound for failure, either because they are out of the specifics (how can a city be out of red onions?), because you wait at the cash (read above), or because you can't find parking (always). Combine the three in various order of importance and multiply by the number of errants = FAIL.
• It means banks only open at 11 and close at 4. And that after 3 there are a number of transactions that cannot be done anymore. 
• It means that if you go to the bank you might half of their opening hours to complete all your transactions. (I will write a full post on banking very soon). 
• It means that if you are invited to a party (specially a birthday party) and you arrive 30 minutes late, you might be the first one.
• It means that if you invite people home, if they are Brazilian, they might come with more than one hour late. They might also come with other unannounced friends.
• It means that if you invite expat guests they might come one time, a bit late or very late, and it is impossible to know. The same when you are invited to an expat dinner. How late should we come to not be the firsts ones to arrive?

• It means that you might see the repair guy that you waited for all morning arriving when you are just getting out to fetch the kids from school, and that you can tell him to wait just a few 15-20 minutes. And that when you return 40 minutes later, he is still there waiting for you. That is when I love Brazil.

This is us patiently waiting for Seu Jorge's show to start. The artist, scheduled for 10 PM did not show up until 1:45 AM. By that time we were leaving to release our babysitter.